Friday, June 17, 2011

syukur :)

Oh Allah,
If You are listening to what i am going to say ( which I know You are )
Then, please , hear my confession (which I know You will)

Up until this point, I havent been thankful, gratitude, and oftenly overlooking what i was bestowed with,

firstly, thankyou for making me of what I am today. Thank you for making me among those who has been enlighten by what you have entrust us , mankind with.. thank you again, for allowing me to use my will as how i desire, to fully understand the way you really wanted a person to be. thank you for giving me the chance to feel some of the most of your wonderous fortunate of the world. not all of us had the chance of such experience.

i thank You too. for the family you blessed me with whom i learnt so much about the does and dont. and all the relating values of life that i will cling the rest of my days with it.

and not forgetting , those that i had met, until this point, along this long journey of whom i call, friends. in my ups and downs. regardless of where we've met, i can assure its what You have wanted. And thankyou for giving me the chance to meet such peoples. despite that some of them were just too brief, and yet they are still playing in my mind. i have not forget you or is it just a matter of time until it will? hmm,

as for those who hates me. im sorry for what i have done, sorry for what I have done, or just that i could never be the same of the likes of you. im sorry. all i can say that hopefully you are happy :)

thankyou for letting me to be with them. thank you for making them a part of my life :)

Sunday, June 12, 2011

serantai kata

berpijak di bumi orang ,, aku sedar siapa aku dibandingkan mereka yang lain disini. asal dari mana pun orang pike 2 3 kali nak tahu dkt mana. semuanya pandai pandai hebat hebat belaka. bukan dikala belajar sahaja.

aku sedar, aku bukan seperti mereka. dididik untuk berjaya di sekolah oleh guru dan juga semua rakan rakan. sementara aku bergelumang dikalangan mereka yang masih ragu ragu. tapi biarlah ,,

ini adalah aku. jangan kau kata budak seperti kami ini secara nasib mendapat tempat di sini, jangan di kata semata untuk memenuhi kuota. mungkin di kata aku ni begini, jangan dilabel itu ini,

nakal tak bermakna jahat, bising jangan ditafsir jahat, :)

dan senyap bukan bermakna sombong, tetapi malu itu fitrah, bukan kehendak...

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


aku nak cite sumting, nak caye ke tak , depends....

orang selalu ckp, kalau seseorang tu pandai, its genetic. tgk sibling die, tgk parent die. tgk keturunan die. hmm.

of course, biologically, kalau sape blja biof5, kite tau . yg benda genetic is somthing yg kit ebole distinguish and cannot be measured. but, IQ cnanot be measured. thust we know how the statement above can be denied. myth-busted!!!! (theoretically) , but i dont know, if this can really be the proof. tp aku nak cerita gak pape hal :)

okay, mase aku skola dulu, (gaye mcm dh lame je tinggalkan alam sekolah. hahaha) aku rasa aku tak penah nak amek tau pasal akademik punye hal, just have a life, pg blja kt skolah, siapkan hw, jawab exam, ape punya result pun tak kesah. masa tu kalau fail sume sbjek. pntak mnjadi masalah. eventhough aku takfail sume, tp aku bukan la yg terbaek jugak. as a result, tak blja. dpt la upsr 3A2b.

entering high school. I was still in the mood of playing, 1st time of hostel life. trying to do everything you can and what you should of not done. and there I was. playing more than learning. looking at examination results( this is just a typical bench mark for school achievements) got a lot of C's and less A's . that didnt bother me a bit. until two things happened.

pertama, masa form 1, aku mcm rasa bes gila dpt pgg radas radas makmal yg selame ni kite tgk dlm tv atau mags. teruj agile bile 1st time masok makmal. and cikgu yg mengaja tu pn mcm aja bes. aku suke blja . dan tanye cikgu soklan pelik pelik. die pon dh mule pening pening. sry yeh cgu :) tapi tibe tibe ada satu monthly test ni. cikgu tu buat, and ramai gila yang fail. and cigku tu tak dipersalahkan, sbb masa tgah test tu cgu baru masok and die yg menanda, plus cgu baru tu, aja budak budak tak phm. so budak budak pn salahkan cikgu baru tu aja tak btol sampai dorg fail test tu. tak berkaitan oke? huhu. then. cgu tu pulak tension budak sume complain je, sampai siap hanta hnta surat kt die ckp suro aja tol tol siket. huhu. die tak tahan sgt. cgu tu bg jawapan utk the next exam.. nmpak l ahari masa nk exam tu budak budak dok menghapal soklan objektif. mcm bodoh kn? haha. tu pn budak budak still takleh score. -____-' bile pentadbir sume tau psl hal ni. tros kne buang cgu tu. and yahh. kite nmpak la ramai jugak yg fail. and yg kne blame tu bkn cgu td. tp cgu yg diganti lps tu. sejak tu. aku mcm dah nekad,. aku taknak biar cikgu ni jadi mangse utk ape yang die tak buat. bukan die yg ajar tak btol . eventhough sometimes die aja budak budak tak phm. aku berusahe gk nk phm mnde tu. ni la die 1st time aku rase aku blja sains btol2. ala ala nerd :)

it was kinda like an after math of that event. but just 2 years after that, of course, my results did improved a little. by a small margin. and i tried to strive to be like some of these gifted students. one of them was a guy, who always get scolded for not doing homeworks, sleeping in class, sometimes even ponteng kelas on when he feels like doing so. but he keeps getting number 1 in every exam, and to add things, well, cambridge annually come to my school to evaluate the students english level. and yah. i was at the grade of 3/5, and he was 5/5 equivalent to the english of an expert, yet i still cant recall the terms they used. sorry for that. i kept thinking of a method that could actually be used. until that one time. a senior that was about to talk infront of everyone, and i could still remember what he said. fyi, he's the kinda person who, well you can say gifted. 6 month able to memorize all the quran with most of the time sleeping in class. and of course a straight a candidate of spm, and the best STAM candidate for 2009 if i wasnt mistaken. anyway, he said to all he's juniors..
*adik adik.kalau nk tau kematangan tu macamane. tgk abg abg. ape yg abg abg sebokkan diri, maybe dorg baru dpt kesedaran tu skrg. untunglah kalau adik adik dpt kesedaran tu skrg..*

up untill now that thing still rings in me. an i decided to as if you are taking spm, and prove that to your teacher and everyone else. and i learnt thigs the hard way. overnights and more time on books. it may sounds a little nerd. but hey, i had to do that. for pmr. somehow i got 8A's which is something noon of my parents or anyone else would expect..

tapi lps pmr, hidup aku dh jadi lain, aku kne adapt dgn environment baru. aku kne pg skolah harian biasa, and aku pike msti lg susah. mak akau pn dok lebri 1 bulan dr pagi die bkk smpai ptg die tutup, nk mule bace bio kimia fizik sume. but tu yg ssh tu. andbtw, ada gap setaun yeh between pmr and form 4. itu cite laen, nk tua tnaye aku sndiri yeh :) hehehe

oke, so sambung balek,bile masok dkt skola biase tu. aku tgk budak budak pandai ramai, tapi malangnye sume tak stay situ, sume nk klua.. and a step i took, keep imagining yang dorg still ade kt situ. bersaing dgn dorg. bersaing dgn kwn2 aku yg satu batch sume dpt straight A's. my fellow stfians.

as a result, well, now with my spm result.. i would just like say that its never impossible. ill tell more in the coming post :) hope i can still squeeze some little tiny bits of time just to write a few words here. lets hope i still can. all the best my frens :D