spm aftermath

skrg baru ada rase nk post pasal spm, post-spm i meant~

hmm, okay the night before that kelas aku buat gathering kelas siket, but it turned out to be alittle chaos. aduhai lelaki =.=

the next day , i woke up late, tgk tgk jap dah 930. nah, early, baru nk tido dh org calling calling suro pg skolah. okay okay,im otw to the toilet. and orang kwn aku ni dah siap2 kt rumah aku. haish, hal kau laju aje. . hehh. pg nek moto, smpai je tgk ramai sedang menunggu dkt luar. and, kt dewan org tengah cakap cakap. nahh, ill pass. get breakfast instead. and there i was at wega drinking extra joss :D

sampai sekolah after that pegi salam salam sume then masok dok tepi dewan, tgah borak borak, athirah call,

*ali, aku dh tau result kau*

-asal aku tatau kau bole tau?

*satu dewan dh tau result kau*

-wtf. kau bia betol, dont screw this moment, dont tell me-

and yeah, she told me my result and made my heart shattered to pieces. and cigu sume mule mencari, ali di mana, ustazah arab aku dtg dtg pukol =.= mara sbb ape arab aku bole kantoi B

-___________________-

and setelah dipakse aku duduk kt dlm dewan tu, and then cgu announce sume yg dpt 8a's and above suro amek result kt atas stage tuh. aku yg dok menahan air mate ni naik je la. alahai~ turun je budak2 tu nak amek gamba temubual la ape lah. heh, sry la adik adik sekalian, aku ni bukannye contoh teladan yang baek. aku banyak maen, banyak buat masalah ngn cgu cgu. malas belajar. korg contohi la pelajar yg dapat sume A tu yeh :)

sebelum balek tgk org maen boling and setelkan lesen. sampai rumah je kene marah dgn umi. well, obviously, the one and only time die tak marah aku was the time i got my trial result. and the only one person i can see happy with my result, is my grandmother, she cried of happiness, not knowing that i was just scolded by my mom.

and that night aku nk isi upu and biasiswa. masalah timbul satu demi satu. faktor umur, anddd, i started to ask myself. what do i really want in this life?

doctor perhaps??

am i really interested in this field? am i gonna succeed in this field? or is it just my mom's desire? does the community demands high number of this profession? will the competition be tight? will i survive among the rest? the rest are obviously far better than me rite? if i dont take this field, wut else can i take?wut if i take sumthing that is more easier?

nk cube elak sume soalan ni takleh, sbb ni mcm, life making decision. damn it. delay la aku isi. dengan abg aku and umi kt sebelah,

*ali amek ni macam cool je*

*ali amek ni, bes ni*

*ali amek ni ramai org amek*

bla3~

and bile orang ckp, ali, result kau oke ape.

and heres why i said it wasnt,

ok, firstly, obviously, kalau tgk, result spm lg down dr trial, msti la sedeh kn?

and,

aku pike, about10k org dpt straight A's. cnfm kalau n ape ape biasiswa die setel kn dorg dulu baru pndg yg ada B dulu. lagi lagi course yg aku nk amek ni very expensive and aku tak mampu nak baya kalau sndiri, dlm kate lain, kalau tak dpt biasiswa mmg tak la aku nk amek bidang ni. huhu.

and kalau tak amek amek bidang ni, i end up blja same je ngn budak yg dpt less A's dr aku. no offense. tp ni yg cgu ckp la. so, kalau tak dpt last last same je perjalanan .. kalau minat course yg kos die rendah, kn senang. huuhh.

dan lain lain. pening pike byk2 ni.

and yeah,

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORTS, FOR I MAY NOT HAVE WHAT HAD, IF IT WASNT FOR WHAT YOU HAVE GAVE ME, TEACHERS, FRIENDS, and FAMILY, I WOULD NOT HAVE SUCH RESULT, DO PRAY FOR MY FURTHER FUTURE :)