lets be clear

write to express, not impress.

this dusty place, i havent update this for quite sometime. not that i wanna say my life is getting a little dull with no story to tell. well if you go blogwalking to other blogs, youll see how vast post after posts keeps coming on the top. unlike mine that is. but just so that you'd know, this is not like any other typical blog you see. in which, like a diary, everything is written to keep note of everything we did. (please rephrase me if im wrong)

but ef waii aii. here in my blog i dont seem to do the same. whats the point of being the same with everyone? typical is just not gonna be me. ill write on occasion that when it happens, it usually brings about a question in my mind, raising a thought, that will make myself a better person. think outside the box. and you will understand what im saying :)

but just because i dont post, doesnt mean my life is a lowlife no greatness in it type. but sometimes, either im too busy, or just it is best to be kept for myself, afterall, some opinions are best not to be shared, :D and yeah. the 1st rule for me in writing is stated in the 1st sentence :D

happy new years guys ;)

last friday night

25hb,november, 2011.

i was going down to class . wasnt late . but delayed, farhan gave me a Tshirt from mumbai at the stairs with nai and ama that time. THANKS :) but down the stairs, met arif .

*weh aku arini tak pg kelas kot*

*apesal?*

*kwn aku meninggal smlm*

*(innalillah). kenapa?*

*die kne denggi. budak puncak alam jugak tu.*

*hish, ni budak kelas kau dah tau blm??*

*dah. tau tak jln dri sini nik pg semenyih cane? tp dr shah alam la. aku pg shah alam dulu*

*and i told the directions to him, *

and he left to his house to prepare himself to go to her house. and it also left me with a thought. something to think of.

in my thought, typically, that girl who passed away, was never prepared to go , yet. and ofcourse the lat moths she was laying a smile and laughter never less than any one else among us

but Allah said that it is her time, and she must go. And this got me thinking. its just a matter of time. before anyone's time is up, it could be anyone, it could be us.

as the night falls, i recieved a text message from zawin.

* weh aku dga cte sir param meninggal kt ijn. kau tau tak ali?*

*tak pulak. bile?*

* tak tau. aku pn dpt tau dr kan aku punye cikgu akaun.*

* owh, sorry to hear. thx for the info*

then i called my friends just to tell them this news. and most of them wouldnt believe. and the 1st thing they would ask is,,

* die da masok islam belum??*

well, theres a story behind all this..

well, basically, this sir param is my chemistry teacher for my tution at mas institute . a great one though. he was the one who made me realize that chemistry wasnt that bad, and spm wasnt that bad.

moreover(cewah mcm karangan pulak. haha) although he seems quite old. but he was a rich and healthy person who likes to climb mountains. but what really made his students see him as a great person was

that the ability for him to understand islam.

it was ramdhan last year if i was not mistaken. he was teaching chemistry at an evening class instead of the night class. but as expected evening class would tire the peoples easily, its also an after school

ssession as well, so what more can you expect? but at the end of the class. he started to give a minor speach

*ok, thats all for today. selamat berbuka semua. saya tahu kamu semua letih, tapi sedarlah. syaitan ni takkan berhenti mengajak kamu pergi neraka. buat benda baik ni memang la susah.

benda nak dapat pahale la katekan.*

sorry i couldnt remember from a to z of the speech. but what i do remember is that after the speech , everyone was speecheless. and then he continued.

* saya bukan taknak masok islam, tapi kalau saya masok tapi buat dosa,. nnt dah nak mati saya masok la islam, boleh kan . ALI?*

he asked me a question that simple, yet i cannot answer, i was still wondering, is this man for real?? i hope he is. im thinkin everyone else there would think the same

as me. but i guess ill never know the answer right?? anyway.i hope you may rest in peace sir, love, your students of mas.

ALFATIHAH.....

the silent treatment.

(lazy-ass boardslide -,-)

when you do something.you may fail or you may fly,

family, friends and foods, they never fail to be the main source of solving any problems you face i n life. but at certain times, despite knowing that complaining wont change a thing, sometimes complaining is just another way to just let loose of the problem, although wise people would think twice of doing so. because in the end, the main problem is still not solved.

i guess im not among the wisest when it comes to solving problems. i just dont do the talks so much, dont wanna be a burden to others :) besides, im never good with words anyway. heeeh. it seems that when ever im in an effed up situation, i tend to find a solution that doesnt actually solves the problem. but rather stalls my mind from making that problem a fuzz in the head.

and yeah, you may guess it right. when others complain or anything. i tend to go outside the house and take the board , with barefooted or half shredded shoes doesnt matter. and just pop or flick the board. it kinda makes me forget about everything else. although its actually quite sucky to have a hobby that is costy and it sheds your blood. and in my current situation, picking up where i left it 3 months ago is not an easy thing. especially my reflexes. my spontaneous body responses are different from usual, my mind is still sending signals as if im still handicapped. pfft. what am i bablin here~

recovery is a process* i know . a sad fact i need to accept. even after one year of skating, im still at a gay level. kalau la tak crack tgn back then. T.T needs more time, i need more time. huhu. but hey, this is my way of solving my issues. the silent treatment. never failed me. yet :) hehe. although i suck in it. but one lesson you should learn in life is that

* you may fail or you may fly, but what really matter is that you try * :)

(frontside crooked?=)

p/s: HEY YOU! thanks for spending some time to read my scribbles :) youre awesome!

its time, i hope its in time

umi i hope everything is going to where you planned, may your plan of this coming 6 months be a success. just hope that you know ill be behind you all the way. i may not be there 24/7 at the time you need me. but just ask if you need anything. all the best, love you.

no time for regrets

this is a sad story,

this little poor child, told her mother: "Mom, I painted the sheets with lipstick, " outraged mother struck the child unconscious.

Then she apologized for what she had done and asked the child's eyes opened, but it was too late. Her little heart had stopped. Bedroom sheets read ... "Mom, I love you. "

a not-so-perfect chapter laid to rest :)

selalu lepak bilik sndiri atau bilik syidi,

sebab sekarang masing masing dah ada lappy,

takyah klua dari bilik sindiri,

dah dapat internet free :D

tibe tergerak nk on9 dekat pc kt bawah, nmpak ada satu folder baru, thought i never found tht folder to ever existed, but then it did, pics aftermath accident sume tu, and yeah, it rang me one thing. there was something on my mind that i wanted to share.even though mcm penah post sblm ni, rase mcm nk post lg skali =).

obviously, after surviving that clash. everything flashes before my eyes

here are some things that i could remember, not that im saying i had a trauma or wutsoeva, but, well, just read pls thank you :)

firstly, i remembered that at that morning i havent prayed isya yet. YA ALLAH, what if i wasnt given the time to pray , was all the good things i did enough for me to ensure my afterlife?

and secondly, if that was my last day, i dont know, theres just sooo much things i still wanna say to everyone, sooo much things i wanna share with everyone, and all i could say was sorry,

sorry umi, i wasnt able to fulfill your desire of having a son to be a doctor, or even to give you the chance of having the opportunity to visit a son of yours during his studies at overseas, i know you were never satisfied with what i have achieved in life so far. its not a pride to cling to it rite?

ayah, sorry i wrecked the car as hell, i knew how much that car was a precious thing to you, but never the less, i hope that you knew that i didnt do it on purpose, thankyou for everything :)

syidi, thanks for the boards and everything. haha. all i could say is that you should be a greater example for the others. im no good one. all i did was never right in the eyes of everyone, i never knew the right way around everyone, you should teach the kids how since i wasnt there to do so :)

adek adek, all i can say is, blja rajin rajin , know that the world is bigger than what you've seen, plenty more to discover, plenty more to cherish, and soo much more to tolerate on. :)

friends, sorry if i was never there at the time you needed a friend the most, a time where a somebody could change a chaos to a silky smooth and calm situation, and sorry, for i know i am not the best person you'll ever know, honestly, all i ever wished for is to be a person you'll acknowledge of not taking yourselves for granted. and up until now, i still hope none of you would think twice to doubt me. thankyou everyone for everything :')

with love, to all of you who 's reading this,

but yet here i am, sitting infront of this pc, almost as healthy as i was back then. but if i was to die young.i hope that you could all forgive me. for everything i did, im really sorry everyone, i really am. but my last wish would not be complicated as writing me a song as how a7x did in so far away. nor do i was to be mourned, but just a simple perfect funeral. and a constant doa from all :)

kalau kalau ada hutang tu dan saya tak sempat bayar,. minta halal, kalau tanak halal, boleh refer pada family saya. maaf umi ayah suma. dan jgn risau, kalau ada hutang dengan aku tu, aku halalkan, kalau ada salah silap tu. aku maafkan, never did i grudged a thing against all of you :)

lesson i learnt was that we could never be sure when would be our time, *foolish lies of growing old* how many among us met the end of the road at a very young age, and they lived less than 50% of a normal person's lifespan. and yeah, for all this unfortunate people (i hope its not me) would have problems of enabling themselves to prepare of the last and final words to say to everyone, and this is mine. :) thankyou for your time peoples .

1st time tgk pn mcm tringt igt mase 1st kene. kpale terhantuk dkt cermin tu, tak tau lak byk rambut smpai cmtu skali. and the damage on the stereng is from the impact of my hand. utterly cracked it though.

what remains?? my self concious .

that morning and one only morning

Ok if post sblm ni dh cte smpai kt hospital aku nk cte la pulak ape jd dkt hospital... Huhu ..

Okay, turun ambulans die ckp suro tgu n jgn turun lagi. Die nk amek kerusi roda..aku ckp xpe aku bole jln.. Abg ambulans tu ckp die nk pg cari jp kerusi roda tu.. In the mean time die tye .. Aku ni smoke x. Kalau x die nk hulur sbatang. Mmg x la en. Last last aku kne jalan gk sbb kerusi roda tu dh abes.. Ngengg~

dh jln smpai emergency ward tu aku tgk kiri kanan sume old ppls, and mostly sume doctors there are housemans.. Last time aku kt hospital klang ni was when i was born.. Haha. Datang balek aku kt sni.. Hee tgk bangunan pn sume dah lme. Oldskoolbai! Hee.. the only thing dlm kpe aku skrg ni is just nk kua dr hospital ni asap.

.. Then a nurse mntak ic then die suro aku pg baring. As i lay down die tros buat standard procedure.. Cocok kt tgn utk inject rabies ape sume. Tgk mata. All tht stuff la.. again, tanye aku smoke ke tak. hmmph. X thn mase die nk tgk blood pressure die test dkt tgn kiri aku. Time tu x rse sakit sgt sbb adrenaline still rushing within me. Mase tu pkol 5. Umi asek calling tye ape cte mcmane oke tak sume. Then die ckp.. Nnt jgn lupe solat subuh.. Allah.. Aku isya pn blm lg time tu. Aku tye nurse tu mana surau nk solat. Die xnk gtau n die suro aku tido. Ikhwan kt sblh pn ckp suro aku tido gk. Die ckp nnt dah setel pg la solat.So aku pn tdo...

Dh tdo aku terjage byk kali gk. Tgk tepi ikhwan tak tido dr td tgk aku.. Pehh. Tq bro! Tgk jam dh subuh . Damnit miss isya. Takpela ikhwan suro smbg tido. Aku tido but then skalu ni terjage sbb darah kt dahi start mengalir balek. Aku pgl nurse sume buat bodo je. Igt aku x pkai spek aku xnmpak ke kau tga bace surat khabar .. Shitt. Last last out of nowhere tibe ade sorg nurse die stop kn bleeding tu. Ikhwan time tu pg setelkn procedure utk jahit kpale n xray. So aku sorg time tuh. Knpe la aku dh bpe lme kt situ bru skrg die nk setel kn aku.. Bkn nye dorg bz pn.. Pkol 630 br nk start proses aku.. Hehh. Government hospital.. As expected..

Ikhwan dtg ckp nk pg cek xray dulu.. Time adrenaline dh mule fading away .. So all the pain starts to hurt.. Smpai kt tmpt xray tu kne tgu turn. Tgk sblm aku tu bru aku tau cmne org koma kne xray. Huhu. Evrytime die nk isi borang for a procedure die akn tye aku smoke ke x . Wtf do.. Jahat sgt ke muke aku??

Dah xray die suro aku pg balek dkt ward utk tgu nk jahit kpale lak . Aku ckp aku nk tdo die x bg .. Die suro duduk. Fine aku duduk dkt katil igt skjp jer then nk tros pg jahit tgk2 lama. Ade nurse len lalu kt katil aku dan tye npe aku x baring . Bile aku nk baring datang nurse td suro aku pg jahit pulak. Adehhh~ sabo jela..


Kt bilik jahit tu aku sorg sbb ikhwan kne setel utk aku masok wad biase.. Aku dh pike bpe lme pulak la aku kne stay kt sni. Cuti seminggu je..ah redah je la .. Naik atas katil tu. Dokter tanggal balut dkt kpale and then die nk jahit kpale die mcm pelik.. Then die pgl kwn die..
-ni nk jahit cmane nh.. Theres no cut.. Skin loss je sume.
- abeh darah ni mengalir dari mana??
Xkn la x nmpak kt.. Pastu die nk cari kt mana darah mengalir die picit semua tmpt yg ade drh drh. Kalau adrenaline ade lg aku takesah la. Ni sumpah rase weh -,- kalau picit picit jumpe xpe gk.. Last last kne pgl gk senior dorg sbb dorg tatau cane. Darah time ni dok mengalir and die x bg aku tido. Tau kn sbb pe??

Dokter pmpuan tu dtg and die ulang balek prosedur laki td. Ntah ape ssh sgt nk cari drmmana darah klua. Aku pejam je mata the whole process tu. Muke mmg da basah ngn darah last last dorg da jmpe dari mana darah kua ztau cane nk jahit.
Yg laki suro jahit dlm dulu bru jahit lua.. Yang pmpuan tu suro jahit lua je nnt dlm ok la. Ok fine buat la pape jnji setel. Psni yg sakit gile. Die nk jahit msti bius dulu.. Hell yeah. Thts the most bitter pain. Dah lme x kne mcmtu. Dkt tmpt die nk jahit tu die akn inject bius atas bwh kiri kanan and finally tgh tgh at the center of the wound. Ok sumpah tak tipu tu sakt gila . Tp xde la smpai nanges .hehe. Dlm hati pike just tht this will be over soon. Soon. Soon. Mase die jahit tu mcm jahit baju lak. Tarek tarek benang as if kpale aku ni kain je..
-adek jgn gerak kpale nk ketatkn jahitan nh
Smbil jahit jahit dorg sume borak mcm aku ni xde je.. Adehh

As i rise up up fom the bed i can see that it is drenched in blood already.. Damn it how much blood have i lost today. Pg kt emergrncy ward balek then ikwan ckp maybe kne stay few days dkt sini sbb dokter ckp maybe kne masok besi.. Seb bek tak.. Time ni umi n ayh da dtg n ikwan pn balek sbb ayh die dh dtg. Pg la setel simen pulak dlm bilik casting yg super sejuk and then die pakse aku diri shirtless formabout 10 minutes for nothing. Then umi masok dlm bilik tu nk bg baju.. Da ade bju bru la x sjuk sgt then die psg cast bru aku blah dr hospital masok ward byase.. It was like 9++ tht time die. before balek dokter kne resolve dulu aku sakit ape next appointment bile bru bole balek. part dokter nk resolve sakit tu yg x le bla tu. Pdhl sumenye houseman yg nk cek. Dokter cek awl awl dh. Houseman nihh -.- fyi housemans are freshie doctors or practical kt. Huhu

Balek. Dlm kete miyul n syikin call ckp aku kt mne sbb die nk lawat.. Pdhal plan aslmpg tu nk pg skate sme sme. Then alya nk mntk tlg anta pg airport mmg sry sgtsgt aku xbleh.. Lastly aku endup spendi the whole cuti mid sem dkt rumah je -.- sume yg dh plan bagai kne tangguh..






this is some stupid video i made at the ER. sry for the mumblin

oke,pkai earfone yehh :)

that night and one only night

Owkaaaaayhh!!!!
I thnk its time for me to tell what happened.

Okay, jumaat petaang, lps lepak mkn mcd dkt kkpr, ahmad nini dtg amek instead of umi and syidi, dlm pkol 5 kt time tu. Smpai shah alam dlm magrib time tuh.. Lepak 2 mkn jap,, then pg anta kwn laily smpai uma die then pg cuci kete jap. Bla bla bla smpai uma pkol 11 kt. Bkk skype then ckp kt kwn kwn tu aku nk tdo jp sbb kol 3 kne pg amek cah dr pahang kt bustop..

As i was goinng to sleep, syidi dtg bilik aku die ckp...
-Ali jom pg skate
-bile??
- skrg la.
- jap aku tuka baju

Gile.. Mmg la aku pg skate.. Dah thn bpe lme x men kt skate park. So aku tuka baju and then gi la skate ngn syidi and rkan rakan die. Smapi pkol 230 ckp kt syidi balek skrg sbb aku kne mandi n pg amek kwn kwn tuh..

Pg amek dorg kt bustop tau tau xde kdit lak enset. So seb bek jmpe dorg. Then hanta dorg pg subang kt usj 9. Otw ade lak org ni tga nntok bwk kete trhuyung hayang. Damnnn. Xpe la. Hanta dorg balek and mase tu pkol 4 kt. And mase tuh la,, everythin turned into a nightmare .

dr subang oke je drive. Mase smpai kt seksyen 19 tu dah mule rase len mcm dah .drive kjap kjap trtido.. Kamis tu x tdo smpai la mase tuu.. So mane la x ngntok kn?? Smpai dkt 18 terpike,, ni xle bwk laju laju ni,, kne slow siket.. So i shifted the gear to the fourth gear, and unbuckle the seat belt and lean on the stereng wheel. Bese buat mcm tu okay je. So my speed reduced from 120 to 80.. Ntah cemane aku trtido nyenyak pulak smpai aku rse tayar kereta dh naek atas tanah devider.. Bkk je mata haaa amek kau, edge of a highway's devider yg besi tu collide head to head with ayah's wira..

Surely tht impact made my adrenaline rush throughout my body and im not mengantok .. Kpale mcm terhantuk siket dkt cermin. Time tu dlm hati Ya Allah! Cmne nk cover cite kt ayah niii -.-takpe takpe yg pnting skrg nh amek brg pnting dlu and kua kete. Cek poket enset pk.. Ipod tah kt mana pulak.. Time tu igt peluh tibe tibe byk turun kt muke.. Bile sapu bru prasan darah rupenyee -.-

Cari tisu yg biaae kt blkg dah ade kt dpn dh.. Amek la dlm 10 hwlai tu buat tahan darah kt dahi. Tgk2 darah x benti.. 2 3 kali perah tuka set tisu baru nk thn darah tu baru blood stop. At tht time aku dh kt lua kete tkt kete meletup pulak kang lg complicated things turn out.. Nak call org tgk2 enset xde kedit pulakk.. Seb bek la call 999 tayah gune kdit.. But free calls have their prices too. Operator die apesal la prangai gitu.. Adeeh

- ye encik ali husaini ape kecemasan anda?
Wahhebattaunameaku!*
- saye accdent skrg nh cmane?
-awak nak saye call tow truck ke??
*aku tga sakit ni kau bole ckp aku nk tow truck ? Ape ke bangangnye -,-
- saye skrg ni kpale saye berdarah cmane yeh??
- owhh. Skjp ye saye smbgkn kpd hospital...

Smbg je kt hospital ni lg sorg bangang

- ye apa kecemasan anda??
- saye br lps accident kepala saye drh drh ni .. Nk wat cmane skrg??
- awak nk saye pgl tow truck ke??
Wtf is wrong with you guys -,-**
-tak. Kpale saye darah byk ni cmane?? Nk buat ape??
- nak saye pglkan ambulans ke??
- haa tak kesah la jnji boleh setel..

- oke skrg saye nk tau dgn siape saye berckp yeh
Bodoh hanta je la dulu ambulan
- ali husaini
- ok nama ic apa
Sabo jela
- 920223~~~
- ok alamat awak??
- hanta je dulu ambulans bole x?
- skjp ye dik saye kne isi borang ni sume dulu.
Mampos kau la. Bg adress die mntak nama bapak la plk. Ic bapak sume. Sakai tol ..aku darah ni die x pike ke.
-oke dek skrg ni abg nk alamat tmpt adek accident
- saye x nmpak sbb spek saye da ilang tp skrg saye dkt flyover blkg sacc shah alam . Kalau lalu highway dr 18 menghala ke dataran nmpak la nnt.
- adek kne la specific siket tmpt kt mana. Highway apa and kilometer brape kt highway tu.
- mana la saye nk tau lalu je nnt nmpak la ade kete accident. Bk byk pn accident kete tu. Satu ni je
- ade land mark ape ape x yg bole gune tuk tau kt mana lokasi??
- phm x saye punye spek dh ilang masa accident tu mana saye nk nmpaknape sgt. Tp kalau lalu highway kesas smpai ke msjid negeri tu nmpak la. Cube la cari..
- okay. Ambulan dah otw. Time kasih
Tuttuttut........

Okay happennto be mase aku accident tu ade geng geng budak fixie pass by. Budak 18 gk tu.. Haha mntak ijhwan enset die call syidi surotolong setelkan kete jap mase tu. Die pn mAse tu pg inform ayah umi psl aku accident. At the same time tibe tibe polis dtg. Igt nk tolong pape. Die dtg then tanye
- ni spe gado kt sini ??!

Bangang ape. Nmpak tak kete tu knfm la accident vuduh..
Yhen bole pulakmbntai dir suro aku masok kete. Org nk blah dr kete die suro aku masok dlm kete tu.. Isap rokok then dah abes sebatang blah. Wtf dude?? Ape kau punye peranan do?? Stupid~~

after like 15 mnts tu,, ambulan dtg then ikhwan follow pg hospital klang. At tht time darah dh kering so mcm x rse sakit sgt kt kpale except tgn rase sakit . Dlm ambulan tu die mcm nk bersihkan kpale dr serpihan serpihan kace. Mase tu byk gile kaca kt kpale and hairs yg putus pendek pendek sbb impact tuh. Huhu. Ikhwan kate die nk termuntah dlm ambulans tu.. Then

Upps , i think ill post pasal ape jd kt hospital next post la . Nk kne bce buku nih.. Hee.. Goodluck sume budak palam!!

sincerely , here is part of my tale :)

ye saya tahu,

saya mengaku,

saya tak seperti yang anda mahu ..

**

dear you,

you are trying to say that im a troubled kid? because of what i do? i skate? the songs i hear? the life i live? is it wrong?

idk if its wrong with my reasons. i like skating as a hobby, if you hate a person's hobby, then idk why ur not hating the stamp collectors or the shopaholics.

and yeah. i hear songs where it is not accepted by the majority of the society. but the message they try to portrait is absolutely better . let them hear the feel with the words.and let them know, that life is not just about love and entertainment.. theres more to think of.

and yeah, i live a life of where i think i can make others happy, is it wrong to make other people happy?

but i cant change your perception no matter how and what i say, A verdict has been made. and i alone will eventually notice why im outcasted by you..

and yeah, i gotta admit, i was never born from a filthy rich parent that can spoil me with everything the world can offer. and umi always told me that we are not that rich to have everything we want, if people but this as a benchmark to us then what else can we do? God is not to be blamed, EVER :)

ouh, and i tried , i swear i tried, but i guess it was just never meant for me, to be studying in a place where all the most intelligent students are.due to that im am not as bright as them, just barely , im here where i am now.

and dont talk about my physical. im not that hot looking. or that superior athletic type of person.so, it all makes sense doesnt it?

i may not be the Alpha male ever to walk this earth, but if people outcast me because of the things i just stated. then i can hope for nothing more than a happier life for you. as long as you are happy then i have nothing, against you :)

friends. what would you do without them? indeed, when we have problems, we come to our loved ones to share it, but when we have problems with our loved ones, its them whom we search rite? :)

this is a band of the song where most of the society rejects. fyi, this band is made up of those who once, was troubled in a lot of stuff such as drugs and yg sewaktu dengannye. and by forming this band, they want to curb the straight edge spirit( a will of not turning back to what they were. a disaster and a burden to the society) in everyone. truely, hardcore music, is 1/3 music and 2/3 is the lyric. try looking at the lyric of *infidelity* and this the reason i stay*. more about them, see this link http://ijam315.wordpress.com/2009/02/05/tour-xmotivationx-second-combat/

and this is just something i do to pass my time. a way to let go all my problem, what else for a virgin like me can do? hahahaha. p/s: virgin , i mean of never knew, felt, nor understand this love thingy thing quite well. haha

APE MNDE KAU MREPEK NI ALI???!!

hehe. sry la, bkn ape, just that, saye kt sini saye nk mengaku. saya tak sehebat orang lain, tak sekaye org lain, tak sebijak orang lain. saye tak baek mcm orang lain yg korg kenal. so kalau korg nk bann SAYE SBB SAYE tak mcm org laen. silekan. beauty is in the eyes of the beholders. beauty in my eyes is never the same as in your eyes i supposed? ;)

motivation by, ME, ME, AND ME

Another
2 months.. What started with a single crack is now a bone with gap halfway through the bone. Haish.. Kalau sebelummni, i have problems that involves emotion more than physical, i could easily overcome it with physical activity. With problems i have emotionally, add with this problems of which i still spending time to adapt with this situation .things are gonna get really tough

with one hand. I have to admit its hard . But the hardest part of it is having to do it all alone. Ive already overcome the problem of toilet related. I could sleep but never in the position i like. I could wear clothes but never the ones i desire. Mmg lg 2 bln la merase pkai long sleeve and sweater. Sjuk nk wt cmane.. Thn je la. Makan jgn cite la. Mmg kne pkai tgn or just a spoon. Xde istilah fork and knife or spoons and forks. Itu aku x kesah sgt .

Tp yg btol btol aku dot dot dot siket bile die involve study. Aku kne habiskn sem ni mcmni. Means aku kne jwb exam in this condition. Cne nk pgg pembaris snd draw a one simple straight line?? Aku pn tatau lg. and until sem ni abes, aku xbleh nk bwk byk buku pg kls. Nk tye lecture soalan pn kne balek bilek tgk buku bru bleh tye esknye. Krtas terbang terbang nk pg kjar balek pn nmpak mcm hape je.. Knapela waktu tmpoh belaja aku yg paling crucial dlm hidup aku kne cmni.

When im writing this im not asking for sympathy. Just hoping for solution for this coming 2 month. Aku just nk satu care yg membolehkan aku jalani hidup tanpa stress .

Somebody already made my heart this miserable like hell. I cant show it with my expression. but i think a smile would just cover it instead of healing it. And the cure for that is only time. And some catalyst to speed up the process.such as a physical activity,, skating specificaly . Damn i miss it. And now i have double the problem. Everytime bgn pagi i would think of how im gonna survive this hard time...

But above all. Im just grateful to still be alive. Trust me, you can never know the true value of life until you look at death upclose. Me? I escaped it three times. And this is my third. How many more till lesson learnt. Bknnye aku nk menagih simpati tulis mnde mnde cmni. Tp just tht i need motivations. Self motivation so far is really hard. Just by writing this i can find myself a way to keep my motivations high enough. Stkt ni umi je yg bg motivasi. Thankyou. I love you

i escaped death too much

been thinking of death for quite some times lately,,

this particular week especially,

Never feared for anything
Never shamed but never free
A life to heal the broken heart with all that it could
Lived a life so endlessly
Saw beyond what others see
I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could

Will you stay?
Will you stay away forever?

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Plans of what our futures hold
Foolish lies of growing old
It seems we're so invincible
The truth is so cold

A final song, a last request
A perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find a place in my mind

Where you can stay
You can stay away forever

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Sleep tight, I'm not afraid
The ones that we love are here with me
Lay away a place for me
Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way
To live eternally

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
When I have so much to say but you're so far away

I love you
You were ready
The pain is strong and urges rise
But I'll see you
When He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands untied

So far away
And I need you to know
So far away
And I need you to, need you to know

accident

wont tell much. tangan tga x bleh nk type sgt, pray for my recovery.more to come ,, insyaAllah

one of the things i hate

dapat tau malam tadi. sorang kawan aku ni nk klua dari uitm. , kolej mara. shit,,

whats the big deal about it anyway??

well, the thing is, i dont like this kind of situation, not that this is the 1st time things like this happen to me. its just that i happen to have the time and mood of writing this. (baru abes exam do!hehehe)

friend, i know its only been just awhile since we met, but i dont know why its like we've known for a long time. everytime a friend i briefly knew needs to go somewhere its gonna be hard to keep in contact, i happen to feel this feeling of sadness. after everything happen. i hope that it does not ends with just a mere goodbye and a smiling face back at each other.

i always imagined those we knew for some times would one day meet up again, exchanging stories after a long time passed, sit around all day long never having ourselves to wonder about the time we have left just to catch up with each other again. especially when we're finished studying. man, life is gonna be so different that time. and talking about all our pasts. its gonna be a blast!

but i worried of one single thing. i fear that if the time taken for us to know each each other is shorter that the time that passed with us all apart. possibly causing us all not even able to identify each other. that i hate. luckily theres facebook. i hope this doesnt happen.

but above all, i know everything happens for a reason. and that reason is for the best of all of us. thankyou my friends :)

p/s: thankyou afini. for being patient with my karenah yg macam ozzy ni. hehe. and thanks alot for the book. you dont know how much buku tu dah berjasa dkt aku. im gonna miss that book. and you too la. hahahaha. jgn lupe kami di sini :)

syukur :)

Oh Allah,

If You are listening to what i am going to say ( which I know You are )

Then, please , hear my confession (which I know You will)

Up until this point, I havent been thankful, gratitude, and oftenly overlooking what i was bestowed with,

firstly, thankyou for making me of what I am today. Thank you for making me among those who has been enlighten by what you have entrust us , mankind with.. thank you again, for allowing me to use my will as how i desire, to fully understand the way you really wanted a person to be. thank you for giving me the chance to feel some of the most of your wonderous fortunate of the world. not all of us had the chance of such experience.

i thank You too. for the family you blessed me with whom i learnt so much about the does and dont. and all the relating values of life that i will cling the rest of my days with it.

and not forgetting , those that i had met, until this point, along this long journey of whom i call, friends. in my ups and downs. regardless of where we've met, i can assure its what You have wanted. And thankyou for giving me the chance to meet such peoples. despite that some of them were just too brief, and yet they are still playing in my mind. i have not forget you or is it just a matter of time until it will? hmm,

as for those who hates me. im sorry for what i have done, sorry for what I have done, or just that i could never be the same of the likes of you. im sorry. all i can say that hopefully you are happy :)

thankyou for letting me to be with them. thank you for making them a part of my life :)

serantai kata

berpijak di bumi orang ,, aku sedar siapa aku dibandingkan mereka yang lain disini. asal dari mana pun orang pike 2 3 kali nak tahu dkt mana. semuanya pandai pandai hebat hebat belaka. bukan dikala belajar sahaja.

aku sedar, aku bukan seperti mereka. dididik untuk berjaya di sekolah oleh guru dan juga semua rakan rakan. sementara aku bergelumang dikalangan mereka yang masih ragu ragu. tapi biarlah ,,

ini adalah aku. jangan kau kata budak seperti kami ini secara nasib mendapat tempat di sini, jangan di kata semata untuk memenuhi kuota. mungkin di kata aku ni begini, jangan dilabel itu ini,

nakal tak bermakna jahat, bising jangan ditafsir jahat, :)

dan senyap bukan bermakna sombong, tetapi malu itu fitrah, bukan kehendak...

reality

aku nak cite sumting, nak caye ke tak , depends....

orang selalu ckp, kalau seseorang tu pandai, its genetic. tgk sibling die, tgk parent die. tgk keturunan die. hmm.

of course, biologically, kalau sape blja biof5, kite tau . yg benda genetic is somthing yg kit ebole distinguish and cannot be measured. but, IQ cnanot be measured. thust we know how the statement above can be denied. myth-busted!!!! (theoretically) , but i dont know, if this can really be the proof. tp aku nak cerita gak pape hal :)

okay, mase aku skola dulu, (gaye mcm dh lame je tinggalkan alam sekolah. hahaha) aku rasa aku tak penah nak amek tau pasal akademik punye hal, just have a life, pg blja kt skolah, siapkan hw, jawab exam, ape punya result pun tak kesah. masa tu kalau fail sume sbjek. pntak mnjadi masalah. eventhough aku takfail sume, tp aku bukan la yg terbaek jugak. as a result, tak blja. dpt la upsr 3A2b.

entering high school. I was still in the mood of playing, 1st time of hostel life. trying to do everything you can and what you should of not done. and there I was. playing more than learning. looking at examination results( this is just a typical bench mark for school achievements) got a lot of C's and less A's . that didnt bother me a bit. until two things happened.

pertama, masa form 1, aku mcm rasa bes gila dpt pgg radas radas makmal yg selame ni kite tgk dlm tv atau mags. teruj agile bile 1st time masok makmal. and cikgu yg mengaja tu pn mcm aja bes. aku suke blja . dan tanye cikgu soklan pelik pelik. die pon dh mule pening pening. sry yeh cgu :) tapi tibe tibe ada satu monthly test ni. cikgu tu buat, and ramai gila yang fail. and cigku tu tak dipersalahkan, sbb masa tgah test tu cgu baru masok and die yg menanda, plus cgu baru tu, aja budak budak tak phm. so budak budak pn salahkan cikgu baru tu aja tak btol sampai dorg fail test tu. tak berkaitan oke? huhu. then. cgu tu pulak tension budak sume complain je, sampai siap hanta hnta surat kt die ckp suro aja tol tol siket. huhu. die tak tahan sgt. cgu tu bg jawapan utk the next exam.. nmpak l ahari masa nk exam tu budak budak dok menghapal soklan objektif. mcm bodoh kn? haha. tu pn budak budak still takleh score. -____-' bile pentadbir sume tau psl hal ni. tros kne buang cgu tu. and yahh. kite nmpak la ramai jugak yg fail. and yg kne blame tu bkn cgu td. tp cgu yg diganti lps tu. sejak tu. aku mcm dah nekad,. aku taknak biar cikgu ni jadi mangse utk ape yang die tak buat. bukan die yg ajar tak btol . eventhough sometimes die aja budak budak tak phm. aku berusahe gk nk phm mnde tu. ni la die 1st time aku rase aku blja sains btol2. ala ala nerd :)

secondly,,

it was kinda like an after math of that event. but just 2 years after that, of course, my results did improved a little. by a small margin. and i tried to strive to be like some of these gifted students. one of them was a guy, who always get scolded for not doing homeworks, sleeping in class, sometimes even ponteng kelas on when he feels like doing so. but he keeps getting number 1 in every exam, and to add things, well, cambridge annually come to my school to evaluate the students english level. and yah. i was at the grade of 3/5, and he was 5/5 equivalent to the english of an expert, yet i still cant recall the terms they used. sorry for that. i kept thinking of a method that could actually be used. until that one time. a senior that was about to talk infront of everyone, and i could still remember what he said. fyi, he's the kinda person who, well you can say gifted. 6 month able to memorize all the quran with most of the time sleeping in class. and of course a straight a candidate of spm, and the best STAM candidate for 2009 if i wasnt mistaken. anyway, he said to all he's juniors..

*adik adik.kalau nk tau kematangan tu macamane. tgk abg abg. ape yg abg abg sebokkan diri, maybe dorg baru dpt kesedaran tu skrg. untunglah kalau adik adik dpt kesedaran tu skrg..*

up untill now that thing still rings in me. an i decided to myself.study as if you are taking spm, and prove that to your teacher and everyone else. and i learnt thigs the hard way. overnights and more time on books. it may sounds a little nerd. but hey, i had to do that. for pmr. somehow i got 8A's which is something noon of my parents or anyone else would expect..

tapi lps pmr, hidup aku dh jadi lain, aku kne adapt dgn environment baru. aku kne pg skolah harian biasa, and aku pike msti lg susah. mak akau pn dok lebri 1 bulan dr pagi die bkk smpai ptg die tutup, nk mule bace bio kimia fizik sume. but tu yg ssh tu. andbtw, ada gap setaun yeh between pmr and form 4. itu cite laen, nk tua tnaye aku sndiri yeh :) hehehe

oke, so sambung balek,bile masok dkt skola biase tu. aku tgk budak budak pandai ramai, tapi malangnye sume tak stay situ, sume nk klua.. and a step i took, keep imagining yang dorg still ade kt situ. bersaing dgn dorg. bersaing dgn kwn2 aku yg satu batch sume dpt straight A's. my fellow stfians.

as a result, well, now with my spm result.. i would just like say that its never impossible. ill tell more in the coming post :) hope i can still squeeze some little tiny bits of time just to write a few words here. lets hope i still can. all the best my frens :D



MAAF KALAU BOSAN :)

skate or die :)

setelah beberapa bulan main. aku dh surpass abg aku!!! :D

ollie,shuvit,popshuvit,pressureflip,kickflip, halfcab,180 ollie,180 nocomply,revert, croocked, rock and roll, manual,boardslide xD

okay, maybe tak perfect lg trick. but after all the lebam lebam and sakit sakit,its worth a shot. tah bape lme lg aku bole main. harap2 kt U nnt boleh main lg :)

the mocking scene

heartbroken?

over the moon?

oke, ramai budak spm 2010 mlm td mcm hape menuggu 12am nk cek upu, tau tau klua 12pm (IN YOURFACE!!.hehe)

okay so, skrg ni aku depressed gila, hampa kecewa dan yang sewaktu dengannya. bile tulis je number ic tgk ah atas tu ape yg klua. mane nye tak bengang. no offense, tp aku dpt byk A dlm spm pn dpt course same ngn budak yg dpt 6a 5a . yg dapat 7a je pon, dpt masok asasi sains hayat UM. itu laaaaa yg aku dok target, asl la tak dpt.cmni bek tayah aku dpt byk A je -___-' this what ive been trying to avoid. YOU STRIVE SOOOO HARD TO ACHIVE SOMETHING, AND DO ALL THAT YOU CAN FOR THAT, AND IT ALL COMES TO A MOCKING SCENE. org buat senang2 je. aku buat kne jln ssh. knpe la aku msti dpt nasib ni. hahahah :)

mayeb ade yg ckp , *ali bersyukur la . dpt jugak dr tak dpt* well, kite merancang ape gy kite rase terbaek utk kite, dan mengharap itu la yg kite dpt, tp malangnye judgement kite tu salah. so, maybe btol ape yg korg ckp. tapi, fyi, great people dream great things. to be great you m ust thing like a great person. must act like a great person. kwn kwn yg straigt a sume msti apply yg gila gila. thts what i aim. guess im just not one of them. although sebelum ni, i always thought, it was never wrong to think like tht.

but somewhere inside me, a weak shallow thought is telling me, maybe theres a reason for all this..i hope its right..

a new breath ,

http://thiscronicle.tumblr.com/

it was late night. i was driving with whom i dont even know. and suddenly somebody asked me to pull over. and i rolled down the window. and apai was there. i dont know. why him? suddenly he took my phone that was placed at a pocket at the door and throws it on the road, and it shattered to pieces. damn it!. and a carwent over it. wthell is your problem?!!! why is he the one pulling me off the road?

******

waking up in the morning. umi asked to send akram to the bus. about 1 minute ride to the dropzone. and as i returned home, and umi said i would be late for school. so i hurried my self and wait in the car. as i arrived at school, akram suprisingly hop in the car, and said the bus left him. and he cant go to school.i was like, *owh, yeke* and i was thinkin, how was he able to walk , or run that far at a short period, and knowing where my school was? oh well, theres gotta be a trick up in his sleeve. although the explanation may be a little unlogic..

******

i was somewhere in a kitchen after all the fuzz of the day. and suddenly, AinaShafia was there cooking an epic meal for me. a great aroma. i kept wondering, why am i in a restaurant's kitchen and she's cooking for me?? wthell? ahh, dulik la. the meal was done, and all for me :D as i was startin to take the 1st bite,,,

***************************************************

ali, jom,

haa?

cpt la hnta aku,

hnta mane?

keje la, dh lmbt.

owh, oke...

****8.45am, thursday,

damn it, i was dreaming.

that explained everything

-___________________-'

solid-hard facts

SWEETNESS OF A VICTORY IS EARNED THROUGH HARDSHIP,

NOT SHORTCUTS

=)

crunching some thoughts..

dh beberapa bulan main. malangnye everytime main tak boleh nk serius sbb ada je mnde yang menghalang. kalau pike pike balek. smpai bile aku bole main? kat u nnt bole ke aku main? ade ke mase nk main,.

its all about consistency if you want to improve, i dont see the consistence. my sweat, tears and blood are shed from this. am i just gonna drop it? hell no! although the fact tht playing with spectacles are hard. i guess things were never easy when it comes to me.

spm aftermath

skrg baru ada rase nk post pasal spm, post-spm i meant~

hmm, okay the night before that kelas aku buat gathering kelas siket, but it turned out to be alittle chaos. aduhai lelaki =.=

the next day , i woke up late, tgk tgk jap dah 930. nah, early, baru nk tido dh org calling calling suro pg skolah. okay okay,im otw to the toilet. and orang kwn aku ni dah siap2 kt rumah aku. haish, hal kau laju aje. . hehh. pg nek moto, smpai je tgk ramai sedang menunggu dkt luar. and, kt dewan org tengah cakap cakap. nahh, ill pass. get breakfast instead. and there i was at wega drinking extra joss :D

sampai sekolah after that pegi salam salam sume then masok dok tepi dewan, tgah borak borak, athirah call,

*ali, aku dh tau result kau*

-asal aku tatau kau bole tau?

*satu dewan dh tau result kau*

-wtf. kau bia betol, dont screw this moment, dont tell me-

and yeah, she told me my result and made my heart shattered to pieces. and cigu sume mule mencari, ali di mana, ustazah arab aku dtg dtg pukol =.= mara sbb ape arab aku bole kantoi B

-___________________-

and setelah dipakse aku duduk kt dlm dewan tu, and then cgu announce sume yg dpt 8a's and above suro amek result kt atas stage tuh. aku yg dok menahan air mate ni naik je la. alahai~ turun je budak2 tu nak amek gamba temubual la ape lah. heh, sry la adik adik sekalian, aku ni bukannye contoh teladan yang baek. aku banyak maen, banyak buat masalah ngn cgu cgu. malas belajar. korg contohi la pelajar yg dapat sume A tu yeh :)

sebelum balek tgk org maen boling and setelkan lesen. sampai rumah je kene marah dgn umi. well, obviously, the one and only time die tak marah aku was the time i got my trial result. and the only one person i can see happy with my result, is my grandmother, she cried of happiness, not knowing that i was just scolded by my mom.

and that night aku nk isi upu and biasiswa. masalah timbul satu demi satu. faktor umur, anddd, i started to ask myself. what do i really want in this life?

doctor perhaps??

am i really interested in this field? am i gonna succeed in this field? or is it just my mom's desire? does the community demands high number of this profession? will the competition be tight? will i survive among the rest? the rest are obviously far better than me rite? if i dont take this field, wut else can i take?wut if i take sumthing that is more easier?

nk cube elak sume soalan ni takleh, sbb ni mcm, life making decision. damn it. delay la aku isi. dengan abg aku and umi kt sebelah,

*ali amek ni macam cool je*

*ali amek ni, bes ni*

*ali amek ni ramai org amek*

bla3~

and bile orang ckp, ali, result kau oke ape.

and heres why i said it wasnt,

ok, firstly, obviously, kalau tgk, result spm lg down dr trial, msti la sedeh kn?

and,

aku pike, about10k org dpt straight A's. cnfm kalau n ape ape biasiswa die setel kn dorg dulu baru pndg yg ada B dulu. lagi lagi course yg aku nk amek ni very expensive and aku tak mampu nak baya kalau sndiri, dlm kate lain, kalau tak dpt biasiswa mmg tak la aku nk amek bidang ni. huhu.

and kalau tak amek amek bidang ni, i end up blja same je ngn budak yg dpt less A's dr aku. no offense. tp ni yg cgu ckp la. so, kalau tak dpt last last same je perjalanan .. kalau minat course yg kos die rendah, kn senang. huuhh.

dan lain lain. pening pike byk2 ni.

and yeah,

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORTS, FOR I MAY NOT HAVE WHAT HAD, IF IT WASNT FOR WHAT YOU HAVE GAVE ME, TEACHERS, FRIENDS, and FAMILY, I WOULD NOT HAVE SUCH RESULT, DO PRAY FOR MY FURTHER FUTURE :)

lesson of today, 23/03/11

WHETHER YOU RUN OR WALK, THE DESTINATION WONT CHANGE,

WHICH IS WHY ITS YOUR LOSS IF YOU DONT RUN,

i guess i should of run....

if this happened to you, would you feel the same?

you borrowed something that is mine. and said that you are going to return it the next day. and it was 8th march that night, and today is , 21st march, almost two weeks after that then i get a grab of it. and you said that you are going to RETURN it, not having me myself pick it up at your house. as if your house was next to mine, i could consider it.but its just not. that totally pissed me off. im not mad, just pissed off. and what pisses me more. you had me waiting like more than 30 minutes, just after you said that you are okay for me to pick that thing. and i ended up going back home. and yet you still said that you will send it, but you will just quiet up until i asked. texted, call, rang, damn it.

i tried to pick it up the second time, that time you said you are at the skatepark and you didnt bring my deck with you, im willing to come there and wait. as i arrive you are starting to leave and you said, you would be at home then go somewhere, i waited at your house for the same period before, i texted you, no reply, i called, and you said that you are at sunway pyramid now? why didnt you say so? i was waiting like a stupid person waiting for what? you to come home? no way! i went home empty handed. AGAIN,

and finally, i got a hand on that, it seems like waiting for soo long is just something im gonna get use to when it comes to you, though i must apologize for coming late night, sorry, morning actually.

you asked if im mad? im not mad, just pissed off. tell me if you ur not. im a normal person with a temper also, you tested too much out of me. but i am gonna be mad, if you expect that im not pissed off,and thinks that you are everyone's little princess and im your nanny. you come when you think youre lonely and thinks that you should have something from me..i know im not as the social level as yours. but heyy, i think its fair to treat everyone AND YOURSELF the same, and not posh out yourself and treat everyone to fit with that :)

back to December

okay, banyak sangat mazhab, aku nak percaya yang mane pn tatau. tp paling reasonalable. is 20 mac ke atas. and this is because the date is when the plkn dudes finished their session .should give them some times to go to their schools asrama and stuffs.

haha, terang terang la kn post ni pasal result? adoii, tak kesah la keluar bape haribulan. sume orang cuak kot. bile pike pike balek. adoi, ape jadi kalau result terok?? Ya Allah! aku ni bukannye anak orang berada nak pg kolej swasta. takkan la aku nk kje je tros smpai aku dah tue kawen kot. adehh. bole ke aku dapat result yg lagi elok dr result trial?? and kalau aku dapat pn result mcm result trial or better( AMINNNNNNNNNNNNN!) konfem aku dpt masok course yg aku nak? budak spm taun lps pn takde dpt straight A yg jenis mmg kje straight A je mase exam kt skola.aku yg tak penah penah dpt arab a and apatah lg straight A just by sheer luck dpt, heeh.kwn syidi yg dapat 14A pon masok course same ngn die je. no offense. tp die nk masok y ada bio and all tht stuff, tp tak dapat. aku yg bpe A la sangat ni, mcm la bole dpt. and kt malaysia ni bape ramai la orang yg dah pure nerds yg kje mmg blja and score je. ni baru cite nk fight for places in U, belum lg cite psl nk dpt scholarship. adehh. nak buat resume pn tak reti, kursus 2 kali kt sekolah aku tak dengar. padan muke kau ali. kawan2 aku yg dapat scholarship pn sume yg hebat hebat gila. kalau nk di bandingkan dgn aku ni, aduhh, langitdanbumi tau tak?haha. =.= itu pn dorg dpt lmbt ..

aku knfm mnde cmni is playing in each mind of post-spm candidates. tp nk buat cemane.. tgu dan lihat je lah.. =.=

MAY WE ALL BE SUCCESS IN THIS COMING RESULT NO MATTER WHEN IT WILL COME OUT.BEST OF LUCK TO MY SELF AND ALL OF YOU. AMINN

things i want to do

sebelum masok ke alam U,

saya nak jumpe semua kawan kawan saya.SEMUA!

saya nak pergi tengok dunia yang lebih luas,

saya nak belajar mandarin,

saya nak kurangkan berat badan,

saya nak bace quran banyak banyak lagi,

saye nak main skate puas puas,

saya nak kumpul duet banyak banyak.

saya nak beli iphone 4

saya nak bawak adek saya jalan jalan,

saya nak setelkan lesen moto =.=

saya nak jadi budak baek.

IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

thankyou for all the wishes. although my birthday was not as spectacular as anyone(its a dull one really!), but never mind that, i got more than a hundred wishes and that is enough for me., thank you for letting me know, that there are those who remembers me :) and along with that i would like to say sorry for most of the times, what i do never seem to be satisfying everyone, or some one. i really am.

a lone lonely loner~

see? im smiling! :D

at the same time. am i?

life is getting dull faster than i expected. i need more inspiration. from somewhere. something. someone? that little click in the head that could change each and every single thing better. where are you??!

this is what i say

this is not tumblr :)

and she said

students??

school???

books???

nerds?

.

.

.

.

.

.

cute????

erhh. are you sure about that dude??? lol

reference :

http://retardnerddiary.blogspot.com/2011/01/3.html

disaster upon a thread???

oke. it was supposed to be a great time. but, things dont usually go as you hoped..

last, friday if i was correct. i was at work. just arrived to be specific , and then i see everyone was gathering around at the bar. there was, kak lisa, steve, azfar, sharon, nana, mizie. they were discussing about that night. i knew there was going to be a staff dinner for all the nando's outlet under mr roger's supervise .i never planned of goin there actually, but all of them insisted. they wanted me , faiz and azfar to perform that night. and they let us decide what song to sing. SING? thats the thing i do in the toilet alone and not infront of the crowd. but wtheck.kak lisa said she's going to cut our salary . ok. life goes on. we were told to close early to attend that dinner party at 1130. during the work time. we kept discussing what song. i dont wanna miss a thing?? still fly? finally decided. GREAT ESCAPE!

around 630. steve said to me.

'ali, u tinggal dkt mana?'

'shah alam la'

' boleh tak u pegi balek sekejap, amek baju utk malam ni. tema kite hawaii tau.then dtg balek keje'

'erhh, oke. '

i rushed to the ktm, and with delayed train, add it up with the fuss of the ppls. i arrived at 830. and picked up the clothes for me and faiz. and downloaded th song, great escape. as i arrived at nando's, it was already closing time. hehehe. so, i literally worked that day. done the closing, kak zidahsuro tuka baju dkt dlm freezer. wtheck? tanak. so we changed in the store. hahaha. me faiz sharon nana went to the outlet at jaya one with azfar's ride. dude. nice car! like seriously. its an old school car, well maintained :D

so as we arrived, we were among the earliest. get the numbers for the lucky draw. and then just sat back at the alley to rehearse the song. oke, tak hapal =.= gamble!!!!and it turned out, horrible. sry kak lisa, im not tht much when it comes to karaoke ,then, disaster happened. at the time it was the show for sharon, kerol and mizie, i thought of recording it. and i tried to search for my phone, and it wasnt there =.=

oke. to add it up,umi's mp3 with faiz's earphone is gone too. i lost my mood at tht party, mr boo asked everyone to dance infront. sorry, not for me. , and it seems that, every one noticed it too. kak zidah dari jauh dah nmpak =.= so i went home earlier than anyone. thanks to azfar who sent me all the way from pj to shah alam. and the next day, my luck turned form bad to worst.

bgn pagi, kne marah dgn umi.

nk pg sacc renew sim kne delay sbb hujan.

sbb lmbt redah je.

dh nk smpai sacc tayar pancit.

pg 2 tukar tayar, duit utk gnti mp3 umi makin kurang.

smpai sacc, die ckp stok habis =.=

smpai ktm, basahkuyup, terlepas tren,

smpai kje lmbt.

kt kje kne sound ngn naresh sbb amek bill tak de reference (BKN AKU LA!!!)

kje dkt kitchen byk slack then org service yg tak buat order yg kne tudoh.

balek kne buat dining ada customer yg bajet nandos ni kdai mamak nk lepak lame2. orang dah nk closing die boleh lak bukak lappy.

closing pn jd lmbt gila.

seb bek tak miss train...

and soo, now aku dh ada fone bru. with the same number . but i lost the contact details :( so paham paham la yer plss?? :)

so that was the fullstop for my disaster. hopefully. but when i look at the bright side. i love working at nandos :) the staff are awesome. great people. great food. great income. come guys! try your luck at the subang parade outlet. hahahaha. :D

waste no time :)

What is the time now?
There's no time for looking back now
because we need to start looking forward.

It's time to shut up listen.
It's time to get up and move your feet.
It's time to get up cause it's our turn dance around and feel the beat.
It's time to shut up and listen.
It's time to get up and move your feet.
It's time to stand up
cause it's our turn dance around and feel the beat.

Don't loose this opportunity
because time won't repeat itself.

Look at the time now
it's been awhile since we had fun like this
and I can't figure it out that why are we wasting time?

This is our time.

Every second counts don't waster another minute.

Stop looking back
let's make some haste
cause I ain't stopping here right now.
What are we doing now?
Is this the right thing to do?

Waste no time.

hari pertama persekolahan :)

seronok main iceskate 4 jam.
seronok dpt kalah main bowling?
seronok dpt jumpe kawan kawan.kawan bukan sebarang kawan :)
seronok sebab keluar kali ni tak pkai duet parent. erhh, duet umi.
seronok keluar tak abeskan duet.
seronok sebab keluar kali ni puas hati
ape yang tak seronoknye?
melecet sana sini
nak main skate ptg and malam pon susah.





INI PUN SERONOK JUGAK :D

new year

oke, gambar tahun baru saya memang tak se'2011' seperti orang lain. tapi saya nak cakap. malam 2011 saya bes :)

second combat <3

the padangs <3

bxc. tak dapat tgk, tgah lepak dgn tyra time tu. adehh. next time aki!

**photo grabbed from sha's fb. i know it may seem like, not a good place. but hey.

hanya kerana kami passionate about musics yg agk berat. tak bermakne kami jahat.

kami clean :)

ein, SxC**

selamat tahun baru semua, moge tahun ni better dari 2010 =)